It's been a long time since I've updated my blog so I thought I would take a moment and do so. It seems that a lot has happened since my last post. The day after Easter, we found out that we are expecting our 4th child. It took me at least a month before I could finally comes to terms with it. I love our children and another one is such an incredible blessing but the timing just seems so wrong. My issues, financial issues, etc. I certainly couldn't imagine bringing a baby into the mix. But God has a plan and I have to remind myself that his plans never fail, just trust that everything will work out according to his plan and only in his time. So, currently I am 22 weeks along and loving every kick and punch that this LITTLE BOY is throwing at me. Now, if we could only figure out what his name will be, everything will be complete. We are looking forward to his arrival sometime at the end of November/early December.

By the way, after I found out that we're expecting, I stopped taking my anti-depressants. Worst withdrawals EVER!! Between the withdrawal effects and the early pg symptoms, life sucked for at least 2 weeks. And since time has past, I look back at my previous posts and wonder what the heck I was thinking. I may be hormonal now and then but nothing like I was at the beginning on the year. I read those post and wonder how I was so far gone, why I didn't do more to pull myself back up, thank God that I didn't give up and most importantly am incredibly thankful that nobody gave up on me. I often wonder if God has given us this little blessing as a way of saying, 'Look, I'm still in charge and you still have a job to do.'

Kaitlyn will start school soon and it's a little hard for me to realize that she will be a sophomore. When did my little girl grow up? She turned 15 last month and we are now discussing driving, proms, dating, etc. You always know these days will come but when they arrive you are never really prepared. She's still my little girl and it's sometimes so hard to imagine her being more and more independent. Still, I tend to allow her to go further and further away from the nest, praying that she will hold her own and use what we have taught her to bring her back safely.

Stephen and Brenden are the best of friends and my biggest challenges. They tend to gang up on me for the sport of it. I wish Brenden would finally figure out that it is okay to sleep all night and that he doesn't need to drink out of a bottle anymore. He's two years old for crying out loud. lol. I remember thinking the same thing when Stephen was his age. I'm sure things will change soon, having faith anyway. Stephen has become argumentative and doesn't know that there is a time to just stop. He is still a big ball of energy and is sometimes hard to keep up with.

Jeff still does everything he can to keep us all going. I can't imagine how life would be without him. After all the heartache I'm sure I've put him through, he still comes home every day and gives me the support I need. Without him, I would have gave up a long time ago. I will always say that he deserves more than he gets. Although there are times that it seems we are heading in different directions or just pass each other in the hall, there is never a time that I don't want to just escape with him to some far off place and just be together. I know how lucky I am to have him.

Okay, enough rambling for now. I have to get the boys ready for bed. I hope to be able to update a little more often. I feel like I've found my writing spark again and would love to take a moment out of each day to see what I can come up with. Until then, peace and happiness to those who read this. :)